Words of change

Think of a word. It doesn't matter what it is. Do you have one? Good. Now form a sentence with it. Form a sentence based off of the first one. And form another and another. Words are the grounds on which we've built our lives. I know it's generally thought that ideas are the ground level of our lives. But think about it. Words are used to express ideas. Even words unspoken are expressed through hand motions, a look or a physical touch.

I have a small obsession with the words of others. Quotes. I collect them in a journal, hide them away for future reference. I was particularly drawn to one I've recently found:

"Right now, I want a word that describes the feeling you get - a cold, sick feeling deep down inside - when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again be quite the same person you were."

~ Jennifer Donnelly, A Northern Light

Maybe I should have called this blog "My Weird Posts About Senior Year and How I'm Really Not Looking Forward To The End of It, But Can't Wait For It To Be Over At The Same Time". Too long? Yeah, too long. The reason I bring up to should-have-been name is because that quote is my senior year.

When this year is over, whether we want to or not, we will all experience a change so huge and so incredibly important that it will be impossible to go back. There's a feeling I'm certain others have felt before. It's that feeling you get when you have a future plan, but you're still not quite sure what's going to happen.

I know where my plan will take me next year. It will keep in this growing town. I'll be at the same college, working in the same, old office with the same movie posters hanging on the wall. I know where I'm planning on going, or rather, staying. But knowing something doesn't stop the change from happening.

Steven Chbosky wrote it best in his best seller, The Perks of Being a Wallflower:

"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."