I am. I am. I am.

There's a moment when I'm listening to music and I become so immersed in it that I can feel the vibrations right down to my bones. I feel more alive in those moments than I do at any other point in my day. I feel myself shift from a state of mere existence to one of someone who is truly awake and living. It's as if I'm part of the song, like my heart is pumping to the beat of the drums and my thoughts are the lyrics flowing with the music.

Imagine a body and the way blood flows back and forth from a set point - the heart. There are times when music replaces my blood. I can feel it make its way through my body until it's sitting at the tips of my fingers. It's a feeling that probably won't make sense to anyone unless they've experienced the same thing.

I believe there are things that can't be explained. Now, that may go against the "Journalist's Code of Life" or whatever it is I'm supposed to follow as a journo, but think about it. Sometimes there are things that just can't be explained in a sentence or phrase. If it doesn't make sense, it probably won't until you've experienced it.

I'm not saying to just give up on it if it doesn't make sense to you. As journalists, we're taught to seek the answers no one else can find. We're told to go until we can't anymore and when we reach that point, go a little further. When there are things that can't be made sense of, try to find it. There will be times when even those experiences don't help you uncover and answer and that's okay. Searching for something doesn't always mean going out and forcing yourself into the situation. Sometimes you just have to stay calm and allow yourself to be.

"I listened to the old bray of my heart: I am. I am. I am."

~ Sylvia Plath, The Belle Jar