Words of change

Think of a word. It doesn't matter what it is. Do you have one? Good. Now form a sentence with it. Form a sentence based off of the first one. And form another and another. Words are the grounds on which we've built our lives. I know it's generally thought that ideas are the ground level of our lives. But think about it. Words are used to express ideas. Even words unspoken are expressed through hand motions, a look or a physical touch.

I have a small obsession with the words of others. Quotes. I collect them in a journal, hide them away for future reference. I was particularly drawn to one I've recently found:

"Right now, I want a word that describes the feeling you get - a cold, sick feeling deep down inside - when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again be quite the same person you were."

~ Jennifer Donnelly, A Northern Light

Maybe I should have called this blog "My Weird Posts About Senior Year and How I'm Really Not Looking Forward To The End of It, But Can't Wait For It To Be Over At The Same Time". Too long? Yeah, too long. The reason I bring up to should-have-been name is because that quote is my senior year.

When this year is over, whether we want to or not, we will all experience a change so huge and so incredibly important that it will be impossible to go back. There's a feeling I'm certain others have felt before. It's that feeling you get when you have a future plan, but you're still not quite sure what's going to happen.

I know where my plan will take me next year. It will keep in this growing town. I'll be at the same college, working in the same, old office with the same movie posters hanging on the wall. I know where I'm planning on going, or rather, staying. But knowing something doesn't stop the change from happening.

Steven Chbosky wrote it best in his best seller, The Perks of Being a Wallflower:

"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."

Another night to remember

I have a group of friends. In this particular group, somehow, we always end up having to run for something whenever we're all together. Tonight we ran for the car, lost in a parking garage, just trying to find our way out.

As dramatic as that sounds, it really wasn't. We're just easily lost and confused sometimes. Anyway, tonight was amazing. I was given the opportunity to go to "First Date" - a new musical at ACT Theatre in Seattle, WA - with three amazing women. I'm so lucky to have them in my life.  There's even talk of a band in the making ... But that's a story for another day.

Honestly, I am incredibly blessed with the friends I have. They all have their particular places in my heart and my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've gone on so many crazy and amazing adventures this past year and each person has played a role in making each adventure what it was.

Isn't that what this year is supposed to be like - running around with friends, sometimes without a plan, just enjoying ourselves? It may have taken me a while to figure that out, but I'm glad I finally did.

Libraries to visit

"The world belongs to those who read." ~ Rick Holland

"A room without books is like a body without a soul." ~ Cicero

"You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend." ~ Paul Sweeney

For those who know me, I am quite the bookworm. I always have, at the very least, two or three books going at once, only because there is so little time in the world and so many books waiting to be read. Right now I'm in the middle of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, The Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath, Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein, and The Ballad of the Sad Cafe by Carson McCullers.

I have compiled multiple lists of places to go, things to do and people to meet in my lifetime. For an avid reader like me, a list of libraries to visit was inevitable. So, fellow bookworms, eat your heart out:

The New York Public Library

New York, NY

 The Monastery Library

San Francisco Monastery and Church

Lima, Peru

Joanina Library

University of Coimbra

Portugal

Fayetteville Public Library

Fayettevill, AR

Geisel Library

University of California-San Diego

La Jolla, CA

The Long Room

Trinity College

Dublin, Ireland

The Library of Sorbonne

Paris-Sorbonne University

Paris, France

Radcliffe Camera

Oxford University

England

Shibo Ryotaro Memorial Musem library

Osaka, Japan

These aren't all of the libraries on my list - not even close. But they are some incredibly amazing places I wanted to share with you. If you're lucky enough to be graced with a sunny day today, pick up a good book and find a nice place to read outside. Leave your iPod and cell phone indoors and immerse yourself in a wonderful piece of literature. But if you're like me - living in one of the rainiest places in the world - sit yourself in a quiet corner. Curl up with a cup of tea, a blanket and your book.

 Read. Exist. Be.

(All photos belong to their respective owners)

Beginning of the end

Spring quarter 2012 began on Monday. There's always a rush that runs through me at the beginning of every quarter. It's a mix of excitement and nerves.

Somehow, excitement has overtaken the nerves this quarter and I'm feeling ready for the new quarter. Maybe it's because I feel experienced enough in my field that I no longer need those nerves. Maybe it's because this is my last quarter as a high school student, my last quarter until I'm fully launched into the world of adulthood.

Sure, being in college the last two years has put me in that world. But after this quarter, the training wheels will be off and I'll be making my way through a world that makes no sense right now.

I've seen friends walk into that world and find success. I've also seen friends who are still wandering, lost in a world they weren't ready for. Everything that I've done and everything that has happened to me over the course of my life will come together in June to guide me out of the safe walls I'm hidden behind and into a world of chaos and wonder.

I've been told I already have the mind of a person in their thirties (although, that's debatable...). I'd like to think it's because I've experienced quite a bit. But understanding that there's still so much to see is one thing we can all learn, no matter how old you are.

Monday marked the beginning of the end of a chapter in my life. Soon it will be time to start writing a new one. When the time comes, I'll be ready. There are fears to be conquered and fun to be had. So let's get to it.

Preparation

Spring Break is coming to a close, leading me to the beginning of my last quarter of high school. I've passed my Senior Project and my credit requirements have been filled and completed.

Graduation is a scary thing. I'm staying at my community college, staying at home, staying in this same dreary town. Despite the things that are staying the same, it seems like everything is changing. In a way, even the things that are the same are changing.

Obviously, I've been thinking about graduation very often. It's quickly aproaching and there's no stopping it. My friends are spreading out across the country, we're planning final parties and get togethers and preparing for the end of our time in high school.

The day will come when we have to say our goodbyes and before we know it, high school will be a small piece of our histories. Right now, every detail feels important. In a way I think they are.

I'm wrapping up an amazing Spring Break full of some pretty memorable adventures. We finally had our scary movie night. There was cuddling in the rain at the river with some of my best friends. I was bitten by a dog (not too bad ... just a bit of blood). I crashed on a friend's couch, learned how to make galaxy nails, baked a cake and celebrated our impending graduation.

I'd say the last two weeks weren't too shabby. Next up: graduation.

Alive and well

Hello!

Well, I think I'm back. I gave up on blogging nearly one year ago but I've been thinking of starting up again. So here I am!

To be completely honest, I know some of my past blog posts have been very personal and exposing and quite frankly, depressing. And yes, I could have started another blog completely set apart from this one. But that really wouldn't sit right with me. Those posts, regardless of how upsetting they may be, are part of my past and you can't really erase your past.

So my dears, here I am - alive and well! I've changed the blog name, but not the content. My posts from here on out will be somewhat different from the ones I used to write. I'll be honest, true to myself and true to my passions and beliefs, but I'll go about it differently this time.

UPDATE on 5/24/2012:
I decided to take the previous posts off my blog as they are not things I wanted attached to the current blog. They haven't been erased because, like I said, you can't erase your past. But there was no reason for it to be plastered all over my blog. Thanks, loves!